Tuesday 6 March 2018

Day 12

Day 12 and everything is ticking along nicely. Actually it's been pretty uneventful but I am getting closer to the day I start my injections (15th March) and then I will really feel like things have started.

I had an appointment with my naturopath on Monday and all is well there. I am continuing with my current plan which is hopefully going to give us some good quality eggs this time. I have loosened up (just a little bit) with my strict diet so I need to tighten that up again. We are so close. I just need to be strong and disciplined for a little bit longer.

Last night Flex Thunderstache and I completed our consent forms for this cycle. I was thinking back to the first ones we did and how it felt like such a big deal. I think I actually had a bit of a melt down over them. Now we are experts. It took all of 2 minutes as we confidently ticked boxes and crossed out options. How things have changed!

Last weekend, I headed up to martinborough (one of my favourite places to escape to) for a girls werkend. I went with my mum, aunt and sister in law. The fair was on and we had such a great time. Great conversations, lots of laughs and lovely food. 

The word I have found myself using a lot for this round of treatment is hope. While checking put all the amazing stalls at the fair, I saw a necklace printed with the word hope and I new I had to have it. My lovely mum insisted on buying it for me and when I put it on, my aunt commented on how it was the perfect lenght. The word hope sits right on my belly. And my sister in law said that one day I will be able to get the second disk printed with the birth date of my baby.

Sometimes I feel foolish for being so hopeful.

Sometimes it's really hard to let your heart be so vulnerable. Infertility has hurt it so many times.

But one day I will be able to tell my child that I believed that they would be mine. That I hoped and waited with expectation
for them to arrive.

This is why I choose hope.

Xx Alana, Flex Thunderstache & Frankie xx

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