Follow up review

Last Monday we had our follow up review. 

It went exactly as expected.

While it was frustrating having to wait 2 weeks for the appointment (and 2 weeks feels like a really long time when your waiting for something like this) on the plus side, the wait allowed me some time to roll the words 'donor eggs' around in my mind so that at our appointment, it wasn't such a shock. I was still in a bit of a daze though.

I really only had one question.

Can we do another public funded round of IVF with my eggs?

The answer is yes. 

Our doctor asked us if we had talked about donor eggs. I said that I had tried to avoid thinking about it and wanted to wait until we had the facts. The response was, 'unfortunately I don't have any facts for you.'

We were told that they are assuming the problem is due to egg quality, but can't really say for sure. When it is a sperm problem, it is easier to tell. The sperm aren't moving much, deformed or swimming in circles and this isn't the case for Flex Thunderstaches' swimmers.  so they have concluded that it is an egg quality issue and unfortunately there are currently no tests to prove this.

So we asked 2 questions

Is there anything that I can do to improve my egg quality?

Where do you get donor eggs from?

To the first question our doctor said no.

There is nothing I can do to improve my egg quality. I asked about different treatment plans and drugs, each was met with an explanation about how there was no scientific proof that any of those things worked. This is the first time I have felt frustrated with our doctor. The doctors want a positive result and I think sometimes they can put too much focus on the end result of 'getting you a baby' without always keeping in mind the route you want to go down to get there.

I haven't given up on my eggs yet, but I feel our doctor has.

To the second question we were told there are 3 ways. 

1) Eggs are donated from someone you know. A sister, cousin, friend etc. 

2) You place an ad in local community notice boards (Fertility Associates help you to write this) 

3) You go overseas. Fertility Associates have a good relationship with a clinic in San Diego. The cost for treatment, flights etc is about 50K.

There used to be a waiting list in NZ but that got to about 6 or 7 years so they no longer have it. In New Zealand you can't be paid for egg donation and so there is a very limited supply. Where as, in America, you are paid and so there are a lot more eggs available.

Flex Thunderstache and I have not really discussed the use of donor eggs. I don't think it will be a path we choose to go down, but we haven't ruled it out either. At the moment, I want to put all my focus into this last round and giving it our best shot. I am not going to look back and have regrets.

Our 3rd round will start in February next year. This gives me 3 months to get myself (even more) fertility fit. I have booked into see a naturopath who was quite positive about improving egg quality and I plan to look into fertility massage and yoga. I am also being even more disciplined with what I eat. We will be trying a different treatment plan. (At my request, it is really important that I advocate for us at this point. After all, it's our future) This treatment is much slower and lasts for 2 months instead of 1. Last time a lot of my eggs were immature, I am hoping this slower treatment plan will help with that. I have also requested a couple of extra treatments and am waiting to hear if our doctor will approve them. I know they are not treatments he supports, but I know of others who have used them and had better results. At this stage, I am willing to give anything a go.

So that is where we are at.

I am disappointment that my 'no alcohol, sugar, processed foods, saturated fats, and pretty much anything that tastes good' will be happening over Christmas but I remind myself that this is not forever. I only have to do this for 4 months. I can do that.

I would like to leave you with this one positive thought. The night before our scheduled transfer, I lay in bed praying. I wanted to pray for our embryos, that they would grow strong and healthy and we would have one to transfer the next day. The truth is, the only words I could find, were ones of thankfulness. Thankfulness for my family, Flex Thunderstache and Frankie, who lay beside me sleeping. 

Even if we don't have a baby, I have a lot to be thankful for.

Published with love

Alana, Flex and Frankie