Wednesday, 31 May 2017

7th May – When it all gets too much

I was an emotional mess today.

We are trying to decide if we want to do genetic carrier screening or PGD testing (preimplantation genetic diagnosis, which involves removing a cell from an IVF embryo to test it for a specific genetic condition before transferring the embryo.)

Flex Thunderstache is keen, I am not so sure.

This is the first of probably many big decisions we will have to make and I feel stressed, anxious, confused and overwhelmed.

I don’t know how to make these big decisions and I don’t know who to go to for advice.

On one hand, I want to just have faith, put my trust in God and just let things unfold naturally, but there is this ‘what if’ that keeps playing in the back of my mind. But I don’t like the idea of being the one to decide whether an embryo gets to have a chance at life or not – to me, it feels too much like playing God.

I am so pleased I went to church tonight as I was able to share the struggles I am having with a couple of people and also get prayed for.

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